Ask for More
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- £5.99
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- £5.99
Publisher Description
Negotiation is a key skill for your job, your closest relationships, and even your everyday life, but often people shy away from it, feeling like they’re marching into battle or that they’re settling for less. Enter Alexandra Carter, Clinical Professor of Law and Director of the Mediation Program at Columbia University, NYC, who has taught students, business professionals and even the United Nations for more than a decade on this very topic. In Ask for More: Ten Questions to Improve Your Negotiations, Your Relationships and Your Life, Carter brings her breadth of knowledge to help anyone, regardless of their situation, ask for - and get - more.
Rather than adhering to the popular narrative that only the loudest and most assertive among us get what they want, Carter invites readers to rethink negotiation entirely. Through asking open-ended questions rather than panicked ones, you’ll be better able to steer a conversation, a negotiation, and ultimately a relationship for long-term success. She teaches a simple, yet powerful, ten-question framework for successful negotiation. The first five questions are the ones you first need to ask yourself (called 'mirror' questions) and the last five are the ones you ask who you’re negotiating with (called 'window' questions). The responses to such questions as "what’s brought me here?", "how do I feel?" and "what do I need?" will pave the way for a productive conversation based on values and needs. Carter’s method helps readers go far beyond one “yes” or handshake to create value that lasts a lifetime.
Accessible, powerful, and inspiring, Ask for More gives readers the tools to bring clarity and perspective to any important discussion.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Carter, director of the Columbia Law School Mediation Clinic, recasts the art of negotiation as one of smart listening rather than adversarial demands in her convincing if sometimes clunky debut. Carter devotes the book's first half to five questions to ask oneself (e.g. "What's the problem I need to solve?"; "How have I handled this successfully in the past?"), and the second to five questions to ask the other party (e.g. "What do you need?"; "What are your concerns?"). For introspective questions, she advises setting aside some time less than half an hour, she writes, should be sufficient to clarify one's intentions before heading into a negotiation. In general, Carter advises asking open-ended questions, to elicit introspection rather than self-justification. Unfortunately, the effectiveness of the book's instructions is blunted by some opaque metaphors (asking an effective question is like landing a plane, rather than keeping it "in the air while circling the airport") and by stilted dialogue in otherwise helpful examples of real-life negotiations (such as asking the boss for a raise, or budgeting a home-improvement project with a contractor). Those with the patience to cut through the weaker material will be rewarded with an insightful compilation of advice.