BFF
A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found
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- £7.99
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- £7.99
Publisher Description
* “A love story about the miracle of friendship.” —Maggie Smith * “Fearless and unflinching.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette *
From the author of Group, a New York Times bestseller and Reese’s Book Club Pick, a poignant, funny, and emotionally satisfying memoir about Christie Tate’s lifelong struggle to sustain female friendship, and the extraordinary friend who changed everything.
After more than a decade of dead-end dates and dysfunctional relationships, Christie Tate has reclaimed her voice and settled down. Her days of agonizing in group therapy over guys who won’t commit are over, the grueling emotional work required to attach to another person tucked neatly into the past.
Or so she thought. Weeks after giddily sharing stories of her new boyfriend at Saturday morning recovery meetings, Christie receives a gift from a friend. Meredith, twenty years older and always impeccably accessorized, gives Christie a box of holiday-themed scarves as well as a gentle suggestion: maybe now is the perfect time to examine why friendships give her trouble. “The work never ends, right?” she says with a wink.
Christie isn’t so sure, but she soon realizes that the feeling of “apartness” that has plagued her since childhood isn’t magically going away now that she’s in a healthy romantic relationship. With Meredith by her side, she embarks on a brutally honest exploration of her friendships past and present, sorting through the ways that debilitating shame and jealousy have kept the lasting bonds she craves out of reach—and how she can overcome a history of letting go too soon.
“An outstanding portrait of self-excavation” (Publishers Weekly, starred review), BFF explores what happens when we finally break the habits that impair our ability to connect with others, and the ways that one life—however messy and imperfect—can change another.
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
In this incredible memoir, Christie Tate turns her own poignant journey of personal growth into a life-changing lesson about sisterhood. In recovery from an eating disorder as well as her past relationships with alcoholic men, Tate realizes she has another issue: a lifelong inability to form and sustain lasting friendships with women. But when Tate, the author of a previous favourite of ours, Group, bonds with an older woman named Meredith, she finds a mentor who’s willing to support her as she steps up to the plate and explores why she has this problem. Once again, we were impressed by Tate’s willingness to “do the work,” facing her own insecurities, jealousies, and past traumas so she can meet friends where they are. B.F.F. is the best kind of self-help book there is—the kind that doesn’t let on that you’re learning until you’ve turned the final page.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In her heartfelt memoir, Tate (Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life) reflects on the implosion of her past female friendships. When Tate overheard her married friends discussing motherhood at her wedding rehearsal dinner, she realized that her fiancé's proposal hadn't fixed her inability to stay close to other women. Tate recalls her turbulent history of making and losing friends: elementary school alliances were marked by the desire to fit in with the popular girls, while as a high schooler, Tate's friendship with homecoming queen Lia dissolved after she prioritized an alcoholic boyfriend. Tate's friendship woes followed her into adulthood: the "uneasy triangle" she formed with her friends Marnie and Emily reminded Tate of the fraught relationship between herself, her mom, and her sister, and she ghosted her running partner, Callie, after getting engaged. But the bond Tate forms with Meredith, an older woman whom she meets in a 12-step meeting, changes her perspective. Tate takes accountability for her actions ("I'm a work in progress"), and she captures the transformative power of friendship: "It feels like being known and cherished and held tightly." Readers will be moved by this outstanding portrait of self-excavation.