If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother

“Riotously candid essays” on topics from international adoption to late-night bonding with customer service reps by the beloved comedian (Booklist).

Julia Sweeney, famous for her one-woman shows, NPR appearances, and four-season stint on Saturday Night Live, spent some time out of the spotlight when she adopted a Chinese girl named Mulan (“After the movie?”) and then, a few years later, married and moved from Los Angeles to Chicago, where she lived the suburban domestic life. In this delightful collection, she writes about the decision to become a mother, strollers, nannies (including the Chinese Pat), knitting, being adopted by a dog, The Food Network, and meeting Mr. Right through an email from a complete stranger who wrote, “Desperately Seeking Sweeney-in-Law.” She recounts how she explained the facts of life to nine-year-old Mulan, a story that became a wildly popular TED talk and YouTube video.

Also revealed in these essays is Julia’s ability to find that essential thread of human connection, whether it’s with her mother-in-law, who candidly reveals a story most people would keep a secret, or an anonymous customer service rep during a late-night phone call. But no matter what the topic, she always writes with elegant precision, pinning her jokes with razor-sharp observations while articulating feelings that we all share. Poignant, provocative, and wise, this is a funny, powerful memoir by a woman living her life with originality and intelligence.

“Julia Sweeney can you make you laugh about anything. . . . Wry and honest.” —Minneapolis Star Tribune

“Intimate and humorous . . . Sweeney’s devilish sense of humor successfully makes the transition to the page, linking the scenes of her life as daughter, sister, wife, and mother into a delightful whole.” —Publishers Weekly

“Outlandishly funny . . . For every mother who could use a laugh—in other words, every mother.” —Tampa Bay Times