Nefarion

Perfect Example of Gaslighting and the Beginnings of Abuse

If you have a friend who does not understand what the terms “gaslighting” or “red flags” are, please have them read this book. It is a perfect example of the beginning signs of a controlling and abusive relationship. *spoilers* Nefarion basically deceives Annabelle into a lifelong commitment as a royal consort. She slept with him not understanding that it was a commitment for life NOR did she know he is a prince of a savage kingdom and marriage to him means life as Kate Middleton in the Hunger Games. But he says sleeping with him is a promise to be his and so it must be. He lets everyone know he has a woman now and her name is Annabelle. No I didn’t ask her, poor thing, but she’s mine now. (These are actual words used in the book.) She tries to reasonably argue that she’s not doing that, no thank you, but he uses his anger and power to say she is his no matter what. Eventually she has a code cry for help moment with Gwen, another human from book one, and Gwen basically throws her to the wolves, or in this case the Keeper Commander Helion. Olivia March had a chance to make this book about consent and communication, but at the pivotal moment Annabelle is basically told she will need to suffer Nefarion’s advances, live in his tent, and sleep in the same bed in the hopes she will change her mind. And get this, she agrees only because she’s worried at how violent Nafarion could become! Please note that Annabelle’s objections to becoming Nefarion’s wife are her own insecurities about becoming a princess and NOT how many abusive red flags this guy is putting up all over the place. Let’s look at a few: Nefarion orders a doctor to remove her IUD immediately, he grabs her at one point and tells her to be in his tent in 10 minutes or else, his body language is constantly on the edge of violence in non-violent situations, after berating her in front of others he classically over-compensates with tons of flowers and chocolates, she feels like she owes him after the flowers and helps him bathe against her own wishes, when she’s dying he tells her to live or he will kill himself. Oh boy. If my daughter, sister, or friend were to tell me these things about a boyfriend I’d say “get out now.” Yet it is portrayed as a romance. This bothers me to no end because now I’m worried for Annabelle’s well-being, whether he ever become physically abusive. It’s clear he will control her life. I can’t help but hope this book is a parody to make us examine what we think of as romantic. Or if Olivia March thinks this is romantic I’m worried about her now. I’m not sure. But this is a classic example of red flags and early abusive relationship signs. But you can decide for yourself. Good luck.