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My name is Giles English and I have asked for kink…
Lots of times actually, with mixed results (cringes mentally).
My particularly kink is Femdom, and this was back before fifty shades of the internet. Even so, I managed to get more than three quarters of my partners to tie me up!
Clearly, I was doing something right!
However, the kink almost never stuck... it was always something I asked for, and what started as a fun adventure became a drag. Sure, this was dating in my 20s, and the relationships weren’t going to last anyway. However, looking back, I can see things my girlfriends did enjoy, things I should have expanded on, and also ways in which I sucked the pleasure out of kink for them.
Eventually, after leaving a trail of confused or irritated girlfriends, I started getting it right. Then I met my wife and got it mostly wrong, then finally right.
Now I have buckets of juicy kink, not everything I fantasised about, but more than I ever imagined — as I work on this new edition, I have just passed the 6 month mark for 24/7 chastity and this insane marathon was my wife’s idea! (That might not be your kink, but it is mine, so can we agree that that’s a success?)
On my journey to this happy state, I picked up a lot of experience the hard way, and compared notes with friends online and off.
As I said, my kink is Femdom. Yours could be almost anything consenting adults can safely get up to. I’m male and straight. You could be anywhere on the spectrum of gender and sexuality.
Even so, the painful lessons I learned with my fellow travellers still apply.
And that’s what this book is; a very short how-to guide so you can avoid the mistakes we made, and make kink sustainable in your relationship.
Make it stick.