It's all a game. Nobody leaves with anything‪.‬

You see ... i try to understand life ... suffering too much ... especially while in duality ... with a specific lady ... which i illusory define as ... the love of my life.
And ... i keep meditating.
I analyse.
I define.
In fact ... i do it as a daily practice ... calling this childish
tendency as ... self therapy.
In fact ... realistically speaking ... in front of life ... i feel
that ... it all became a non ending charade ... and that is
probably why i keep complaining every single day.
Being extremely annoyed but still believing ... such a
dynamic is normal ... and keep saying that complaining is sort of a fundamental right.
As an excuse ... i start claiming that ... i am a thinker ... then a philosopher ... ending up publishing one book after another.
Automatically ... that can place me into the position of being natural to pretend that i am ... a writer.
But ... i am not.
In fact ... i am just an idiot.
One like all the others ... the only real difference being that actually ... i am more pathetic as they are.
I could even say ... that i've came into that point of being a professional pathetic ... human being.
Fortunately ... being honest enough ... I am not afraid of
saying it.
Neither ashamed.
You see .. deep inside myself ... i know that ... it's all part of my evolution.
Even if many voices around me ... keep calling that ... an
irreversible process of ... involution.