ED: My Shadow, Not My Friend

My head is pounding, my stomach pulsing. My throat is burning, my pulse is racing. Nothing about me feels okay, and if someone were to look deep into my eyes like they were searching for something, they'd know.
ED has taken so much from me, yet I cannot seem to stop giving him the power to continue. I can't stand the screaming. I want it to go away, but late at night when the voice finally stops, I feel so alone. I hate the loneliness. It amuses me when people tell me that I stay in situations with people so that I am not lonely. It isn't the loneliness of people that scares me. It is the loneliness of being rid of the voice in my head that makes me scared. For some reason, with certain people in my life, ED has more room to roam in the shadows of my mind.