Narcissists have little regard for themselves. They're driven shamefully. It is their idealized image, which they persuade to emulate, to admire. Yet narcissists deep down sense the difference between the facade and their disgraceful selves. They are working hard to prevent this humiliation. The gap also applies to other codependents, but a narcissist uses defense mechanisms that harm his relationship and his loved ones' self-esteem.
Many narcissistic mechanisms are therefore abusive "narcissistic violence", but manipulative, but not narcissistic. People with different mental conditions such as bipolar and anti-social personality disorders or disorders with unstable personalities, often co-dependent people without a mental illness, are also aggressive. They are also abusive. Abuse is abuse, regardless of the abuser's diagnosis.