Shovel. Crossbow. Repeat Shovel. Crossbow. Repeat

Shovel. Crossbow. Repeat

    • $9.99

Publisher Description

This is an Apple Books audiobook narrated by a digital voice based on a human narrator.

Norman Reed (Not Reedus) is just a gravedigger. A simple man with a shovel, a crossbow, and absolutely no desire to deal with anyone else's problems—especially not the ones that crawl out of their graves without asking.

But in a world where people don't stay dead for long—thanks to a corrupted, bureaucratically bloated respawn system—being a gravedigger is not just pointless… it's practically suspicious. Corpses return. Dungeons overflow. And somewhere deep beneath the earth, something monstrous is waking up.

Norman doesn't care. Or at least, he tries not to.

That is, until the system breaks in his own backyard. Suddenly, Norman finds himself the accidental recipient of an increasingly passive-aggressive quest, a talking progress bar, and a sidekick—a glitchy undead mess named Gary-7 who respawns wrong every time, and thinks Norman is his dad, his best friend, or possibly a sandwich.

Now, with a Ministry auditor breathing down his neck, an ancient proto-core whispering in his skull, and the fate of the respawn grid unraveling like cheap toilet paper, Norman must do what no one else is willing to:

Put things in the ground, and make sure they stay there.

But this isn't a hero's journey. Norman isn't chosen. He isn't brave. He isn't even particularly nice. He's just the last person left who remembers how to bury something properly.

And he's very, very tired.

Norman Reed (Not Reedus) is a darkly comic mashup of grim fantasy, broken magic-tech, and bureaucratic horror. 

Expect:
Improperly filed undeadGraveyard sarcasmCorrupted dungeons with flesh wallsHighly illegal use of a shovelMild to moderate existential dread
This is Book One of the Norman Reed (not Reedus) series.

It begins with a gravedigger.
It ends with something… else.

GENRE
Sci-Fi & Fantasy
NARRATOR
AB
Apple Books
LANGUAGE
EN
English
LENGTH
05:49
hr min
RELEASED
2026
10 March
PUBLISHER
Mark Adams
SIZE
358.2
MB