The Single Guy's Guide to Getting Your Sh*t Together (Unabridged‪)‬

Swipe through dating apps till your thumbs are raw.... 

Go on a date with a mediocre-looking girl.... 

Make friendly conversation all night.... 

Pay for everything.... 

Text her later.... 

Get left on "read" for eternity.... 

Feel worthless and invisible....  

Watch Netflix by yourself.... 

Don't let the existential dread sink in.... 

Don't let it sink in.... 

Numb your loneliness with alcohol and porn.... 

Do the same things every weekend with the same people.... 

Settle for a girlfriend you don't really love.... 

Get married because she pressured you into it.... 

Get divorced and lose half your assets.... 

Waste your life.... 

Ruin your future.... 

Contemplate suicide....  

Or....  

Get your shit together and listen to this audiobook already.