Are You A Jerk‪?‬

Are you a jerk? Of course not. It’s always the other guy who is a jerk. You know, the idiot who cuts you off in traffic; the opinionated self-righteous know-it-all who thinks he’s an authority on everything; the overly competitive cheater who welches on a bet; the rich tightwad who brags about how much he has, but never helps pay for anything; the loud obnoxious drunk who keeps hitting on your girl; the self-centered braggart who treats others like dirt; etc., etc. But why is it that these guys always seem to get ahead in life, and have a trophy girl clinging to them? It’s because they’re jerks. For some unknown and unjustifiable reason, the opposite sex gravitates toward jerks like flies to crap.

What if you’re already a jerk, but just don’t know it yet? After all, most jerks think that they’re God’s gift to everybody, and the thought of being a jerk never entered their minds. To find out if you are a jerk and to what degree, put a check next to each number below that you’re guilty of doing. Since it may be difficult for you to judge whether or not you’ve been a jerk, you may want to enlist the help of someone close to you (or maybe not so close). At the end, total all of your checks and find your place on the jerk scale at the end. Hopefully, you’re not a jerk. However, if you wish to be one, many of these “jerkits” below will get you on your way. Good luck with whatever you want to be.