The phenomenon psychopathy is associated with many social-emotional and moral problems which are rarely really understood by others, including scientists and psychological, psychotherapeutic and psychiatric professionals. Very few have any notion of the nature and consequences of daily experiences of psychopaths and how complicated it is for them to be so distinctive from other people. These psychopaths are often aware of their difficult task to cope with a demanding dominant majority in society who will constantly force them to adapt themselves to their rules, lifestyle, morality. These diaries are intended to give other human beings at least a glimpse of my psychopathic state of mind and my responses to normal life and the people around me.
I am myself a diagnosed psychopath. From early age my psychopathic condition caused myself and others much alienation and troubles. I hoped that further investigations and more profound insight in my own disorder would help me to handle or even overcome my difficult condition which appeared for me to be untreatable. I started as a result of this a training and I worked for decades as psychoanalyst and researcher in forensic psychiatric settings with psychopaths. I was fascinated by those psychopaths who were cured and wrote my PhD-thesis about remission in psychopaths, which is a very rare phenomenon, indeed. I was astonished about the simplicity of ideas and misconceptions about psychopathy of other scholars. I knew from my own and other psychopaths experiences that the reality of our condition was much more complex than they ever could conceive. This motivated me the write a large number of articles in international journals in order to make an attempt to correct and fill the gap of current theories of psychopaths. I am retired now since 5 years and I enjoyed to be in the circumstance to focus myself completely on my old passion, namely composing of music. However, my repose was disturbed by a well-known scholar and friend who asked me to write a book about my own experienced as a psychopath. And so I decided to accept this last task before I should leave forever the scientific arena of the forensic psychiatry. And I do it with a good reason.