The fangs of terror have struck. Perhaps you were the one thrown out of the house. Your ex took all of your money, drained your resources, burned your clothing, slashed your tires, called your relatives and friends telling them you are a dog, sent letters of complaint to your boss, stood up in church proclaiming you as wicked and even had the audacity to poison your cat.
The first and most lasting advice is to do everything you can to avoid this train wreck. Try to reconcile, reconcile, and—again, I say—reconcile.
Separation is a prelude for a right or wrong decision. Use this time wisely, examining yourself with a keen interest on preserving your investment.
You must encourage yourself whenever possible. Mentally and spiritually, you are under attack. Expect to be bombarded with reminders affirming your failure. Your ex calls and says you are lousy in bed. Your boss reminds you how your work is falling off. Your child innocently conveys a subtle message they heard that undermines your character. A close friend refuses to return your call. A parent nags you about how you are not handling your responsibilities.
Your ex-spouse quietly believes you are going to be down on your knees in despair. They may never admit it, but deep down they would like to see pay back for the anguish they believe you caused them. To the contrary, stand tall and let them see how you are affirming your faith and holding tightly to your belief system
Do not allow your personal feelings to direct you to do anything that you may regret later. Yes, it hurts; yes, you are mad as hell—but maintain your composure. The other side may just be waiting to prove that you are the low-down, dirty S.O.B. they are telling others you are.
Look back and try to recognize what must have unsettled you or your partner. Most always, the accumulation of things leads to the final destruction of the partnership. Nonetheless, it usually boils down to one or two issues. What were they, and how did you handle them? Whatever the final straw may have been, can you see it in your heart to forgive?
Why did it have to come to this? Have you ever asked yourself, if only I could somehow roll back the clock and as if nothing had changed? The kids will have a tendency of voicing how much they missed the old times. Then there is the bitter reminder that another person is violating a part of your being that was sacred. Your former is now in the arms of someone else, and you are pretending to be enjoying the warmth of a surrogate, but it is different.
Encourage yourself; always reaffirming that you are a great and wonderful person deserving of love, respect and admiration. Do not try to be macho—cry and shout out all of the deeply buried pain. The longer you let this stay inside of you, the more it will simmer and grow. You will know when you walk the path of harm, taking up new habits that you know are bad for you that you have reached your max..
If following careful thought and meditative supplication your spirit directs you to dissolve the marriage, then do so. However, make certain that you have done this with vigilance and not at the direction of your ego or the influence of a new lover-in-waiting. If you must separate, exit the union respectfully.
This eBook is a working tool that will help you to cope with your emotions, thus preparing you for a rich and fulfilling tomorrow.