Crave

I vow. I crave. I give in.


I used to be a nice, normal girl.  I had dreams.  Good, happy dreams of a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a fairytale love that lasts forever.  Nobody ever warned me that sometimes, the prince dies three weeks before the wedding.  


Like any addict, I swear this time is the last…. 


Now, I go through my days, a shadow of my former self. I pretend I’m okay, and the people in my life pretend to believe me.  But, sometimes, when I can no longer stand the craving, I roam an underground sex club looking for my next hit.  It’s dirty and wrong, but I can’t stop, and my only line of defense between them and me, are the rules I’ve designed to keep me safe. Men always abide by my rules. Until I meet him.  


And, like any addict, I’m wrong.


I don’t question the instincts that tell me to run.  One look at him, standing there, power radiating off him in waves, tells me all I need to know.  He will make me crave those happy dreams I’ve left behind.  And that is not an option.