Failed Feminist to Woman Warrior: A Rise to Motherhood

In a 2010 Wall Street Journal piece, “Mother Madness,” Erica Jong concludes, “We need to be released from guilt about our children, not further bound by it. We need someone to say: Do the best you can. There are no rules.”


That someone could be Louise Laemmlen the author of Failed Feminist to Woman Warrior, A Rise to Motherhood. In this new memoir, she describes the effects of her choice to have children, her surprise at what it really meant to become a “Mom,” the loss of her identity in that role, and ultimately, the crafting of a stronger self through meeting the challenges of motherhood.


What is the business of a stay-at-home-mom? Laemmlen’s work answers this question and offers a narrative of the widely chosen, yet very personal path of motherhood. The opening chapters introduce her irreverent, often humorous tone by describing her descent into the world of parenting, describing the basics of conquering a daily schedule, dealing with grandparents, tackling baby proofing, and encountering a strangely changing relationship with her husband. The narrative becomes a bit darker as she begins to realize that becoming a mother has meant her loss of status in the eyes of the working world. Laemmlen shares her desperate scrabble to craft a new identity in chapters such as “Perfect Mom” – The Damaging Effects of Trying to Compete. She relates how things really begin to spiral out of control when she fails to face the real work of parenting well. The memoir ends with her acceptance of herself as “Mom.” She advocates for parents, both moms and dads. Without judgment, without stating the “best” way to raise your kids, she relates the importance of bringing your best self to parenting, irrespective of how your family decides to take on this tough job.


The subject of parenting is widely discussed in the media today. Society is, at this moment, grappling with the crush of our drive to get ahead and stay on top, our need to integrate work and family life, and our addiction to loving our children. “Failed Feminist to Woman Warrior” is about how to navigate this territory, honor your children, and land on your own two feet at the end.