If You are Angry Now, You are not in Love

“We love ourselves loving others. We love our desires reflected on the lake called others and love ownership and pleasure. What we love is not others but ourselves drunk in love.” 


  This book provides us with a new perspective on love. The author shows that what we have thought of as love is actually no more than “Self-Love” through real examples. The author argues that the love we are dreaming of is nothing more than another expression of self-satisfaction needs. What I love is not “you” but “I who love you.” Also, the reason we sacrifice ourselves for love is that the love partner is basically an extension of self-existence. We, not being able to free ourselves from the yoke of ‘Self-Love’, get angry and quarrel with the partner even while loving each other. 

  For true love, we need to have the in-depth introspection of our inner selves, says the author. At the moment when we discover that the selfish desire is obsessively adsorbed behind love, our love can be born again.


Contents


1. Two-fly love

   We love you but don’t love you

   The lie that “I am yours”


2. If we are angry now, we are not in love

   Love makes me angry

   The illusion that I am sacrificing myself

   Special expectation and special anger

   The monster in me

   The mechanism of anger

   Anger control


3. Loneliness cannot be avoided

   Who made me lonely

   We want to be connected and disconnected

   Loneliness is not a fact but feeling


4. Ignorant love is violence

   Coercion for you

   The double standard

   Offbeat sex

   Speaking without speaking


5. Do not demand from humans more than what humans can do

   Other’s suffering

   The compulsion of being flawless

   Love does not force change

   There was a good reason


6. We cannot make others happy

   A promise that cannot be kept

   The compulsion to make your spouse happy

   Keeping the boundary of the mind

   The right to be depressed 


7. Possible love

   Reciprocal love

   Your freedom

   Light glass


8. Two hearts in contact leave scars

   Locard’s principle

   Scars from the past cannot hurt me

   The cure of juxtaposition


9. Love is still valid

   My dignity does not require grounds

   Strength of mind

   Love is still valid