It's Still a Long Way Coming: The Importance of Humanizing the Same-Sex Marriage Discussion‪.‬

August 1996. The incessant ringing of the telephone on his bedside table awakens David at 2:15 A.M.. Through his grogginess he is finally able to recognize his sister-in-law's voice and process her words: "There's been an accident." Chris has been in Texas for the last week, attending a conference. Although they have been married for over five years, the hospital's first call was to Chris's parents. Chris's sister has been kind enough to notify David. Even though he will be on the next available flight to Dallas, David will not see Chris for another four days, since Chris's parents do not recognize his marriage to David, and neither does the state of Texas. It has now been fifteen years since the battle over same-sex marriage came to the legal forefront. In 1993, the Hawaii Supreme Court ruled that it was unlawful for the state to deny marriage licenses to couples solely on the basis of sexual orientation. It was found that such denials were in violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, unless a "compelling reason" could be shown for the discrimination. And, yet, by the end of the decade, the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) had been signed into law in addition to the numerous states (including Hawaii) that had amended their constitutions to define marriage as solely between a man and a woman (George 33). As with any polarizing issue, there are at least two sides, and to state that the issue of same-sex marriage polarizes is an understatement. Those opposed to same-sex marriage, who call themselves "Pro Marriage Activists," tend to focus their rhetoric around the term "marriage" itself. The same-sex marriage of my friends David and Chris is portrayed as not only a distortion of the term, but a threat to the family.