Macedonian Reform Fairy Tales ("Nova Makedonija"‪)‬

In Macedonia early elections were held. The new government of the coalition for European Macedonia started negotiations with EU immediately. The reason is because we successfully did our homework. On the one side of the negotiating table is the team headed by smiling and self--confident Radmila, on the other side there is the investigating Brussels Commission headed by Fule. They are asking our side: "Well, gentlemen, you want to be a member of the EU. In order to get this privilege, what will you give Europe as national dowry? What will the EU profit from you and with you?" "Well, we ourselves, as Macedonians, are a dowry. We are bringing you a multi--culture, in which we are unique because it failed with you. We are very good people. We are God's bugs! Soft as bread. We are good hosts to foreign guests. We will mutually kill each other for various reasons, but we never look badly on a stranger. We are obedient, you cannot know how much! We can produce laws with so many holes that every little lawyer can defend a criminal without a problem. We also have exceptionally good politicians and a very beautiful environment." "Okay". The investigating Commission says. "And what are you concretely offering the EU? Do you have anything tangible to improve EU's quality, because the times are rough, a strong world competition is on and we are a little tired from all this. Europe needs, as Barack Obama would say, a strong development. Development can be provided by educated people. What is the situation like in Macedonia concerning science and education? Do you have anybody with a Nobel Prize? Do you have names that are world--wide famous? How many lawyers, judges, and advocates of world fame do you have? How are you ranking the universities, in which science branch are you the best? Do you have business? What is it like? How many regional brand firms do you have, and in which markets are you present? What competitive products do you have? Do the citizens respect the laws? How do the institutions operate?"