Making Friends With the "F" Word: 20 Practical Ways to Forgive

This lighthearted look at simple, practical ways to start the process of forgiving someone is written for anyone and everyone. The delightful and whimsical illustrations add humor to a sometimes heavy subject. The book starts with a brief response to the question of 'Why Forgive?' addressing some of the many benefits. The idea of reconciliation is discussed where clarification is offered about the idea of 'forgive and forget.' We would not advocate that folks should excuse a wrong or reconcile differences with someone who has harmed them. Rather we suggest a mental type of forgiveness that does not involve facing or speaking with the offender. Deciding to forgive someone is as easy as making an intention to do just that. You don’t have to say a word to anyone. In fact, mentally forgiving gives you immediate relief without having to speak to that person. It is not necessary, and perhaps not advisable, to tell the person that you have decided to forgive him or her. Just do it in your mind and you start feeling better. Forgiveness is the antidote to hatred... it is the first step toward creating more love in your life. Which feels better inside: Love or Hatred? While setting an intention to forgive someone who has harmed you is the first step, it may not be an easy step. Perhaps you know in your mind you want relief from the mental torment over the situation, but in reality you just do not feel ready to set an intention to forgive him or her. Forgiveness is a process; it is not an action that is done once. More typically a person with full intention to give forgiveness finds that it is not easy. It takes time. Perhaps it takes seven times seventy attempts to give forgiveness before your mind and heart are one with the idea. Not to worry. It is not a race, it is a process. You have started the process by setting an intention. If you waiver once, or waiver a hundred times, you are still in process and you get credit for starting the process. There is a “readiness” factor. Like fruit, it is best when ripe. If you are not “ready” to give total forgiveness, think of the process as similar to ripening fruit. When the time is ripe, you will be able to complete the mental forgiveness. Any mental steps you begin to put into action now will not be wasted. No thought of forgiveness is ever wasted.