Miss Memory Lane
A Memoir
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- $22.99
Publisher Description
“A brutally honest memoir that socks you in the gut with its candor” (Elton John and David Furnish) about lust, abuse, addiction, stardom, and redemption from Arrow and Teen Wolf actor Colton Haynes.
In 2018, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital. He’d had two seizures, lost vision in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatric hold. Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday.
As he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time and discovered profound self-awareness. He had millions of social media followers who constantly told him they loved him. But what would they think if they knew his true story? If they knew where he came from and the things he had done?
Now, Colton bravely pulls back the curtain on his life and career, revealing the incredible highs and devastating lows. From his unorthodox childhood in a small Kansas town, to coming to terms with his sexuality, he keeps nothing back.
By sixteen, he had been signed by the world’s top modeling agency and his face appeared on billboards. But he was still a broke, lonely, confused teenager, surrounded by people telling him he could be a star as long as he never let anyone see his true self. As Colton’s career in television took off, the stress of wearing so many masks and trying to please so many different people turned his use of drugs and alcohol into full-blown addiction.
“In searing, honest prose, he tells a coming-of-age story that is utterly his own, yet surprisingly universal” (Bill Clegg, New York Times bestselling author)—of dreams deferred and dreams fulfilled; of a family torn apart and rebuilt; and of a man stepping into the light as no one but himself.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Pairing vulnerability with unflinching prose, actor Haynes debuts with a deeply affecting look at his path to self-acceptance. Though the author adored his mother, their relationship was splintered due to her struggles with addiction throughout his adolescence in the 1990s. Desperate to feel "wanted," Haynes sought out attention, often receiving it in warped ways, including in the sexual abuse he endured as a boy at the hands of his uncle. Tirelessly pursuing his dream to become an actor, Haynes weathered comments in early casting calls that he was "too gay to play the lead" before landing a role on MTV's Teen Wolf in 2010. But, as he rawly depicts, the pressure to hide his sexuality ravaged his mental health, leading to an Adderall addiction that resulted in "three secret trips to the emergency room" during the show's first season. After walking away from his starring role on CW's Arrow in 2015, Haynes publicly came out, and later got sober, following a divorce and harrowing struggle with alcoholism. While his dark road to recovery isn't for the fainthearted, Haynes's narrative strikes a redemptive tone: "For the first time I can remember, I'm present, and my emotions feel like a gift, a celebration, a reward." Fans will be left breathless by the grit and courage on display.