More Than Words
The Science of Deepening Love and Connection in Any Relationship
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- $21.99
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- $21.99
Publisher Description
Increase intimacy, connection, and love with this “critical” (Vanessa Van Edwards, bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People), science-based guide to creating meaningful and lasting relationships.
When it comes to building a better relationship with your partner, touch and connection matter so much more than the words that you say. And author and therapist John Howard is here to tell us why.
More Than Words shows you how to deepen love and connection in any relationship based on the latest cutting-edge research in interpersonal neurobiology, trauma-informed healing, attachment theory, and many more scientific fields. This “brilliant guide” (Diane Poole-Heller, PhD, author of The Power of Attachment) explains why verbal communication may not elicit the connection you seek and offers ways to practice and form new habits that can nurture love, care, safety, comfort, and passion in relationships.
Science shows that these techniques work, but most people don’t know them yet. You can start using these techniques today to increase intimacy and emotional connection in your closest relationships.
Mindful of all the needs of the modern individual, More Than Words is inclusive of LGBTQ+, polyamorous, and other nontraditional committed relationships and ultimately looks to elevate the way we strengthen the most important bonds in our lives.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
"Connection is in. Communication is out," writes couples' therapist Howard in his discerning guide to cultivating more fulfilling relationships. Though communication has long been touted as the key to a healthy partnership, Howard argues that modern neuroscience shows "Connection is what we're really looking for, and it facilitates communication, not the other way around." He offers a simple "roadmap" that readers can implement to strengthen their relationships by establishing trust and security. As he writes, "Knowing how to put others at ease and not elicit defensive reactions is an important key to forming bonds." To harness this technique, he suggests six steps: Establish a mindset (and interact with others in a way that makes them feel "safe to... open up around you"); be aware of your presence; use connecting cues (start by "soften your facial expressions"); share feelings instead of "transactional communication"; prioritize the process (instead of "the content"); and take care of each other. He also shares valuable tactics for building emotional resilience, managing differences, and recognizing blind spots, as well as how best to heal and move through infidelity and other relationship traumas. While his insights aren't exactly novel, they're sure to get readers thinking about more mindful ways to connect with others. Those looking to dig deeper will find this a boon.