My Secret Self is an internalised story of my life, and my impressions of the world around me. I kept my views of that world, and of other people, a secret. I felt misunderstood. If I shared my views, I felt I’d be laughed at. I would keep my biggest secret, a secret. I saw magic in nature, and nature could be trusted to support me in my times of trouble.
Our family lived only as individuals; we lived in a world of pretence, lies, shame, guilt, and conditionings, under a grief imposed on us. Innocence was lost due to the manipulations of my grandmother, through her fears of being isolated.
As I observed these people, I knew my life would be different. I coped by observing others and realising this is not how a family should be.