Satan wasn’t happy. One day he was minding his own business and mingling with the forces of darkness in the fiery pits of hell and he suddenly asked himself a question.
‘Where does the devil and the 21st century fit in?’
He sat and pondered that question for a long, long evil time. What he realised was that in this modern day world no-one is really scared of him anymore. They feared God more than the devil and that hurt him deeply in his heart if indeed he had one. The problem was, death held no fear for people anymore and no-one is really encouraging sin on a big scale; people don’t hate as much and vengeance is seemingly off the agenda. All these are major elements in his manipulation of humanity. Yes there was gluttony, deceit, envy and greed in abundance but he needed the hardcore stuff. He needed the stuff that got him jumping out of a bed in the morning ready to corrupt people with his erroneous principles. Human sacrifices performed at unholy rituals, black arts, blood drinking, dismemberment, misery and suffering from the populace. These are the things that appeased him; they’re his life force and make him all warm and gooey inside. Evil was out of balance with good in a big, big way. So he ascends from hell on a mission to bring lawlessness and fear back to the populace and seduce humanity into sin. With the help of his perpetually stoned assistant Derek, who doesn’t have a clue about anything much, they form a formidable partnership to nurture evil and reinvigorate the fear of Satan in the hearts and minds of the population.
The hilarious yet most probably highly offensive* sequel to Jesus is my flatmate, I kid you not!
( *Except to Luciferians and Satanists, they’ll have a whale of a time reading this… )