"Do not tell my wife." That's what Mr. Johnson said when he sat down across the table from me at a speed-dating event close to our home town. Turns out everything isn't rosy in my landlord's sex life.
Well mine hasn't even begun yet, and if he wants to keep me quiet then maybe we can find a solution that benefits us both.
Claim your virgin lodger, Mr. Johnson, and let me give you the tightness that she can't.