The Devil's Insurance Man

A seasoned insurance agent insures anyone, regardless of their background or risk. One day, a shabbily dressed man enters, claiming to be the Devil — Satan, Mephistopheles. The agent, unfazed by unusual clients, agrees to insuring him.

The Devil explains his predicament: modern technology — computers, satellites, the internet — has made it impossible for him to hide or operate in secrecy. He seeks insurance against the dangers posed by these advancements, as well as protection from old fashion exorcisms, prayers, religious organizations, and the Church. The insurance agent is pragmatic and all business.

As the conversation deepens, the agent questions the Devil's power, suggesting that perhaps God is the true source of both good and evil in the world, and that Satan's influence may be an illusion. The Devil, insecure and desperate, admits he has nowhere else to turn for protection. The agent demands that the Devil must pay dearly for coverage. The contract stipulates that all of the Devil's earnings will go toward the insurance, leaving him perpetually enslaved to the agreement. Any attempt to cheat or circumvent the terms will void the protection, exposing him to all the dangers he fears.

The Devil's Insurance Man is satirical short story.