The Evangelization of Warren Buffett by Mother Mary

Warren Buffett, this is a true story. I have your Holy Rosary from Mother Mary. Please take it from me. Please! It's too precious! It's too powerful!

In September of 2007, Jozo Ostojić-Josić, the Great Stone Artist of Međugorje, created for Warren Buffett the most unique and powerful rosary the world has ever seen. Jozo enlisted my reluctant help as courier of this priceless work of art because I am from Warren's hometown of Omaha. Failing at every attempt to deliver, in prayer Mother Mary suggested a business proposal.

And what a proposal it is! First, I had to start a non-profit corporation, the Go-Mommy Medjugorje Foundation, to spread Mom's word and provide free therapy for victims of childhood sexual abuse. Then we offered a wager to Warren that an apparition will occur on September 9, 2012, in Međugorje (What? Mom!) Secondly, with Warren's help, we want to beat Fatima and set the all-time apparition attendance record. Thirdly, we have to organize Gospa Jam, a six-day music fest I want to throw for Mom in Mostar. Then I'm going to stop using Warren's rosary. It's wearing me out!