The Gift of Not Belonging
How Outsiders Thrive in a World of Joiners
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5.0 • 4 Ratings
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- $14.99
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
The first book to explore the distinct personality style of the otrovert — someone who lacks the communal impulse and does not fit in with any social group, regardless of its members — and to reveal all the advantages of being an otrovert and how otroverts contribute to the world.
If you were the kid who never wanted to go to summer camp, if you prefer spending time with friends one-on-one than going to parties, if you would rather forgo your vacation than travel with a tour group, and if you often engage in acts of silent rebellion against group norms and traditions, you are very likely an otrovert.
Dr Kaminski has been studying this personality style for over 30 years. He explains that, while otroverts enjoy deep and fulfilling one-on-one relationships, within groups they feel alienated, uncomfortable, and alone. Unlike introverts, who crave solitude and are easily drained by social interactions, otroverts can be quite gregarious and rarely tire from one-on-one socialising. And unlike loners, or people who have been marginalised based on their identity, otroverts are socially embraced and often popular — yet are unable to conform with what the group collectively thinks or cares about.
And therein lies the great gifts of being an otrovert. When you have no affinity for any particular group, your sense of self-worth is not conditioned on the group’s approval. And, best of all, you know no other way to think other than to think for yourself. The Gift of Not Belonging urges otroverts to embrace their unique gifts, and equips them with the knowledge and tools to thrive in a communal world.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Psychiatrist Kaminski debuts with an informative guide to otroversion, a personality type defined by a sense of "nonbelonging" to groups. Unlike introverts and extroverts—who are fundamentally oriented toward communities and primed to ascribe to their beliefs—otroverts "never feel part of the shared experience" despite being welcomed into groups. They also lack "apparent behavioral distinctions from well-adjusted individuals." In short chapters bolstered by case studies, the author overviews the challenges inherent to a culture that rewards joiners and distrusts those who fail to adhere to social scripts. He goes on to detail how otroverts can capitalize on such virtues as emotional self-sufficiency (they don't look to others to measure their value) and independent thinking (otroverts reject the opinions of the "hive mind" and excel at coming up with original ideas). Discussing how otroverts can navigate various life stages, Kaminski provides especially valuable advice for parents of otroverts. Noting that childhood is a period during which belonging is particularly emphasized, he advises parents to encourage one-on-one friendships, refrain from forcing their children into communal experiences like summer camps, and recognize that though their child's needs "may be different from the majority's preferences... they are not wrong; they are just different." Those who march to the beat of their own drum will be especially gratified.
