What happens after you leave him‪?‬

Strange how love and fear both unleash the same physiological responses in me. My breath catches in my throat, my heart starts beating faster and my eyes widen as I seek to get better situational awareness of what's going on around me, so that I can appreciate the joy the surrounds me like a cloud of pure heaven, or to search out an escape so I can run; run far and fast and hide until the rage passes and once again it's just pure love without fear. I know it's not supposed to be this way.