Why Does He Do That?
Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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4.7 • 27 Ratings
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- $12.99
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- $12.99
Publisher Description
In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.
He says he loves you. So...why does he do that?
You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:
• The early warning signs of abuse
• The nature of abusive thinking
• Myths about abusers
• Ten abusive personality types
• The role of drugs and alcohol
• What you can fix, and what you can’t
• And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely
“This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
This fascinating investigation into what makes abusive men tick is alarming, but its candid handling of a difficult subject makes it a valuable resource for professionals and victims alike. Bancroft, the former codirector of Emerge, the nation's first program for abusive men, has specialized in domestic violence for 15 years, and his understanding of his subject and audience is apparent on every page. "One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you what you should think and tries to get you to doubt or devalue your own perceptions and beliefs," he writes. "I would not like to see your experience with this book re-create that unhealthy dynamic. So the top point to bear in mind as you read is to listen carefully to what I am saying, but always to think for yourself." He maintains this level of sensitivity and even empathy throughout discussions on the nature of abusive thinking, how abusive men manipulate their families and the legal system and whether or not they can ever be "cured." Jargon-free analysis is frequently broken up by interesting first-person accounts and boxes that distill in-depth information into simple checklists. Bancroft's book promises to be a beacon of calm and sanity for many storm-tossed families.
Customer Reviews
Game changer
I loved this book as it explored deeply what is behind an abusers choice to abuse. It’s control. The author also validated my story by valuing all stories of victims and helps us be realistic in what to expect and what’s more important long term-which is MY self. Thank you so much for making it easy to understand. Knowledge is for me - power. I can take a stand and make a change because I understand the “whys”.
I’m almost free
Thank you for giving me the strength to get out to speak up and to have the courage to seek justice for not just me but the next victim I hope.
I never thought it would be me after watching my mother, being a child in a house of family violence house.
It was me I lost so much in such a small amount of time, the system failed myself and my children and his child. This book gave me the courage the strength to get out while I was still alive.
If you are not ready yet to leave this book will help guide you x