Darren Johnson's Best Short Stories of 2020

Time-traveling assassin couples. Death-thwarting biology speakers. Intragalactic Oblivanda competitions.
14 separate tales plus one immense crossover bringing them together because why not:
THANK YOU FOR THE STORY: Cleaning up errant timelines is hard work. Sometimes, you just need to talk about your day with your significant other/archnemesis.
FUTURE SERVANT: The future calls, desperately needing help. Elderly Vivian Allbretter answers.
PLANNEDEMIC: How the pandemic "actually" happened. Think it's fake news? No. It's worse.
THE REPRESENTATIVE EARTHLING ATHLETE: Chad Finworthy has been chosen to represent Earth in the cerebral sport of Oblivanda and save the galaxy. Now he just needs to score some goddamn points.
THE FREQUENTLY DEPARTED: Mikal "Mike" Lund demonstrates his unique talent to a college biology class.
THE SUPPORTERS: They support their cult leader no matter what.
AGE IS MORE THAN A NUMBER: If you or a loved one suffers from time dilation, well, maybe don't orbit so close to a supermassive black hole next time.
NPC PROTESTATIONS: When you and your army keep losing to the same guy, something ain't right.
HOW TO THINK REPUBLICAN: Joining a cult requires more than just pure brainlessness, you know.
DOCTORS DON'T KNOW ANYTHING: God is never wrong. Doctors are ONLY ever wrong. Wait, that can't be right...
THE FOUND CHAPTERS: The best chapters appear to be missing from an amazing story. These are the rest.
TRAINING'S END: Kidnapped and trained by the future, he's back to save the present. The biggest challenge? His girlfriend.
THE ABORTED ONE: He survived his own abortion, forced to wander the world as a fetus until saved by conservatives. That is, if you believe a single word of his story.
A CHRIST-MOOSE STEER-ACLE: A holiday romance story like any other, except better because there's TWO puns in the title!
THE GREATEST CROSSOVER OF ALL TIME 3: The bad guys from the stories above are screwing with the timelines and trying to invade Earth. It's up to the good guys to (1) realize this, (2) find one another, and (3) lay the smack down. Note: knowledge of the first two Greatest Crossovers is NOT required. Do you like crossovers? Who doesn't! Well, this is crossover-er than any of them!