The illusory ... obsession

The concept of ... illusory obsession ... it's a concept which reveals the best my addiction for illusory ... which is in fact ... from my perspective from today ... the need of staying away of ... boringness.
Cause otherwise ... again insanity it's coming back to the
surface.
Defining my life.
And me ... as a human being.
Which of course ... it's not really ok ... but the real truth is that my obsession for illusory is even stronger as ... cocaine.
Or heroine.
Or anything ... really strong.
So ... that is how I actually destroy myself ... in continuous
form.
Every damn ... single day.
Calling it ... a therapeutic way of experiencing life.
Unfortunately ... it's not.
I am just a liar.
I lie myself a lot.
Also an imposter.
Cause ... i write a lot ... trying to manipulate the public opinion ... so that i see them doing the same ... all becoming
... a great excuse.
Aha ... for the absurd of my stupid decision of knowing it's
wrong all what i am doing ... but still doing it.
Inducing illusions.
Tasting them.
And ... calling it life.
Normality.