How to Forget
A Daughter's Memoir
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4.2 • 78 Ratings
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
“This is a masterfully crafted memoir, an elegant tour de force that firmly establishes Mulgrew as a writer of significant literary endowment. The soulmate to Frank McCourt’s Angela’s Ashes, How to Forget, despite the promise of its title, cannot be forgotten or ignored.” —Augusten Burroughs, author of Running with Scissors and Toil & Trouble
In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and bestselling author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughter’s love for her parents.
They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.
The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque—by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful—lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.
Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this candid and intimate memoir, Mulgrew (Born with Teeth), an actress on Star Trek: Voyager, chronicles her father's death at 83 from lung cancer, as well as her artist mother's decline from Alzheimer's disease. Mulgrew, one of eight children, was doing a live show in Florida when she learned of her father's cancer diagnosis. She returned home to take on "a principal role in a real-life drama" and oversaw his final days, while also taking care of her mother. Back in Dubuque County, Iowa, on the 40-acre estate her father purchased to raise his large Irish Catholic family, Mulgrew delves into her past and her complicated relationship with the uncommunicative father she adores. She recalls how he drove her three hours to Milwaukee for her first audition even though unlike her mother he didn't support her dream of acting. The book also has lighter moments (the author and her brother delight in watching their mother, even in the throes of Alzheimer's, knock off eight whiskeys at a New York City bar). In an intensely intimate moment, Mulgrew bathes her comatose father; two years later, she holds vigil at her dying mother's bedside. This is a detailed and searing portrait of a family facing the inevitability of death.
Customer Reviews
Gritty, honest and heart wrenching!
Kate Mulgrew is an amazing storyteller!
Thank you for lighting a fire under me to find my way back to something I want to do.
Intimate view of family tragedy
An intimate look at the unique dynamic of a family struggling with the decline and loss of the people who made them who they are, their parents. As told from the perspective of an intelligent, dramatic, and talented woman. We do not often see behind the shroud of fame and success. I appreciated the raw and often uninhabited
stories Mrs Mulgrew shares and how it influenced her life.
Fascinating
Another well written, great book from Kate Mulgrew. Reminded me so much of what I went through with my dear sweet Mother. So sweet and heartwarming.