Nun Too Soon

At Mary, Mother of Our Lord Seminary in Jefferson, Missouri, Sister Mary Barbara was making my rounds when I opened a door to a prayer room and discovered a young novice on her knees with the monsignor. Appalled, she reported it to the bishop. The bishop advised her to forget it or she would be sent to serve in the Yucatan Peninsula. She left the convent and went back to New York using her real name, Bethany Lowell. She was lacking knowledge about sex and what was in the minds of the men. The only way to experience that, she reasoned, was to have a sexual experience, hopefully with one of the good guys. She thought the Waldorf Astoria would be a good place to look. She met Willem Varner, had her experience, and asked him to father a child. “Only if you marry me,” he said. They became engaged. Varner, who turned out to be a billionaire, decided to aid her in exposing the cover-up of the monsignor. Varner formed a network to rival the conservative Fox News. He made Bethany the CEO of the independent/libertarian new network with the name Varner’s Vixen Views as she was now his wife. With the help of a noted libertarian, she found twenty men and twenty women who had about fifty-fifty independent and libertarian views. She created twenty-four hours of segments, matching every segment during their twenty-four-hour schedule. The forty new men and women became the anchors and co-anchors. The viewers started switching back and forth network coverage, watching the action.