A Wilbur County Christmas

Welcome to Wilbur County. My name is Ichabod Phinius Freely, and I guess you could say I'm the county historian, or if that's too prettytentious for you, just say I'm the unofficial chronicaller of significant happenin's round these here parts. As a life-long resident of Wilbur County, I was around when most of the good stuff happened. I'm talking about real important stuff like when Jeramiah and I wrecked a chicken truck and burned down a manger scene tryin' our best to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year.

As a word of warnin' to you, this story contains violence against the lame, a near decapitation, and the desecration of sanctified ground. If you are offended by any of this, rather than getting' mad at me for somethin' I did when I was too young to know no better, I suggest you find a different holiday story to read. If you're okay with all of this, shame on you, and I hope you enjoy the story