We wrote this book for all who have suffered the devastation of betrayal through marital infidelity by their spouse. It is also for the betrayer who repents, is honest, and works to make things right for the future. It is for both to help them understand that when the past is properly dealt with, then new memories of life can be made to overshadow and outweigh the past bad memories.
This book has been written by two real people who go by “Jack and Jill” in this book. We, Jack and Jill, have been married for 30 years as of our wedding anniversary the year 2013. The 30 years are not continuous due to a few months of living apart, which included a divorce due to Jill’s marital unfaithfulness. After 20 years of marriage, Jack learned that Jill had been unfaithful to their marriage vows. Jill told Jack that she was sorry and still loved him, and they worked on their marriage for a while, but Jill had another affair with someone else about six months later. We chose the names “Jack and Jill” due to the children’s’ rhyme about how Jack and Jill went up the hill together and one fell down and the other came tumbling after. In marriage what one spouse does has an effect on the other in ways far exceeding the actions by others in any other type of relationship.
We wrote this book with the hope that if someone is considering having an affair, thus being unfaithful to their spouse and to God, that they will reconsider taking that path once they realize the consequences that their actions will have both for their self and their spouse. We wrote this book to give hope, help, and direction to the betrayed spouse regardless of their or their spouses’ present desires to maintain the marriage relationship. We give guidance to the pair if they decide to stay together and resolve their relationship problems. Some of the issues that we help couples deal with are: the disappointment over the loss of the specialness and uniqueness of the marriage relationship along with the once pure marital bed alongside any inappropriate emotional attachments that were formed during the affair; the why and reasons for the affair and betrayal; forgiveness for the harm caused; and building trust again. Above all else during these times of anguish and despair we counsel people to turn their life and the entire turmoil of events that have occurred over to God.