We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes."
In Attached, Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Levine and social psychologist Heller, one s adult romantic partnerships have patterns similar to those one has as a child with one s parents. Our individual attachment styles are thus, they conclude, hardwired into our brains. Focusing on three main attachment styles (secure, anxious, and avoidant), the authors explain the biological facts behind our relationship needs, teach readers how to identify their own and loved ones attachment styles, and warn of the emotional price of connecting with someone with drastically different intimacy needs. Teaching readers communication skills to breach these differences, the authors stress that people have very different capacities for intimacy, and that partners must ensure each other s emotional well-being. Chock-full of tips, questionnaires, and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of looking for love in all the right places and improving existing relationships.
Customer ReviewsSee All
Best book ever
This book taught me so much! It’d be amazing if everyone could read it and learn from it, it’s definitely life changing!
Must read for anyone looking to create more in relationships
This is a very concise read on attachment types and what to actually do about it... very helpful in creating awareness for me...
This is a wonderful book for the psychology major, counsellor, and layperson alike. Whomever is dealing with relationships, the good bad or not so good will find help in this extraordinarily accessible book, and I am not just saying that because I have a psych degree and a penchant for attachment theory. You learn what kind of a person you most likely are, avoidant, secure, or anxious, and what your partner, best friend or other intimate relationship might be, and what you can do if things are going wrong or right. And contrary to what our parents told us you won't grow out of problematic attachment, unless you deal with the issues surrounding it. As well, you learn cool tidbits like, did you know anxiously attached people are often attracted to avoidantly attached people? So the person least willing and/or able to give the intimacy and affectionate you crave is the one you look for..hmm very interesting indeed...Well done..