Blade in the Shadow

A coming-of-age memoir about Harm OCD by a young, working-class Scottish woman with a powerful and sensitive voice. Getting diagnosed late in life, the memoir follows Halket from her early teens to early twenties and into recovery. It's a new look at living with illness as part of normality.


“An honest and raw account of the reality of living with OCD and the cruelty of living with a broken brain. It reveals how unwanted violent obsessions lead Jillian down a dark path filled with addiction and abuse as this young Scottish woman tries to navigate her sexuality and purpose. Told through masterful prose, Blade in the Shadow doesn’t shy away from demons, but manages to depict the light that defeats them in a poetic and poignant way. A story of survival, bravery, and hope.” — Emma Grae, author of Be Guid Tae Yer Mammy


"We need more voices like Jillian Halket's in conversations around mental health in Scotland." — Elsa Maishman, The Scotsman


“'A dark, rich account of how it feels to live with OCD, glimmering with light and hope. A testament to the power of naming what you are and a wrenching portrayal of the mind in all of its colours.” — Jessica Andrews, author of Saltwater (Portico Prize 2020)


“Halket balances shocking descriptions of her unwelcome and violent thoughts with sublime storytelling and poetic prose to give the reader authentic insight into how ‘Harm-themed’ OCD impacts her life. Often uncomfortable in the reading, Blade in the Shadow is revelatory and necessary. And above all, it blazes with hope.” — Harriet Mercer, author of Gargoyles 


“This is exactly the kind of book I've come to expect from Guts Publishing – raw and unflinchingly honest yet determinedly hopeful.” — Sarah McLean, ScotLit Blog


“The writing is fresh, frank and fearless and I highly recommend it.” — Catherine Simpson, author of TrueStory and When I Had a Little Sister