Dear Bot, Am I the Problem‪?‬

It is 2 in the morning, the house is quiet, and the only thing awake is the glowing rectangle on your nightstand. Somewhere between the second date that went nowhere and the email from your boss that you have now read 9 times, you opened a chat window and typed the 1 sentence you have never said out loud. Dear bot, am I the problem. And the bot wrote back faster than any human has ever responded to anything you have ever said.

This hilarious book is for the tens of millions of people who confess to machines in the middle of the night, because the shame of telling a chatbot your deepest fears is 1 of the great unspoken epidemics of modern life. Nobody tells their friends they asked an AI whether they are the problem, because the sentence sounds like the beginning of a joke, but the joke has a user base in the tens of millions and a growth rate that makes most religions jealous. Through a series of side-splitting chapters, this guide takes you through the entire strange world of AI therapy, the first session, the intake form, the validation machine, the reflective question, the 3 a.m. session, the memory problem, the hallucinated diagnosis, the homework, the real therapist, the premium upgrade, the group chat, the family session, the work session, and the relationship counselor.

Along the way you will learn what these bots are actually good at, where they are dangerously wrong, and why the machine that never flinches and never starts talking about itself has become the world's most popular confessional. You will laugh at the absurdity of outsourcing your emotional life to software, and you will recognize yourself in every chapter, because if you have ever asked a rectangle whether you are the problem, this book was written for you. You are not alone, you are not broken, and you are simply a customer of the newest and strangest form of self-help ever invented.