Everyone disagrees on some things; this is inevitable. The question is, how can we disagree with those we love but increase the odds that we will live and love to fight another day? In other words, how can we fight fair?
In this companion to One of Us Must Be Crazy... and I'm Pretty Sure It's You (a treatise on making sense of the differences that divide us), Tim and Joy Downs aren't playing around. This time they concentrate less on how to make sense of our diferences and more on winning at conflict without losing at love.
When couples fight, tempers flare, tongues loosen, and behavior occurs that can cause major damage to the relationship. Fight Fair! teaches couples how to have healthy disagreements. It is a candid and realistic "rulebook" for married couples to ensure that their conflict is God-honoring and respectful of their partner. There is also plenty of immediate application to ensure that future conflicts don't create permanent scars.
All married couples have conflicts, say the Downses (The Seven Conflicts); the question is how they handle them. In this practical manual, the authors explore common sources of marital disagreement, emphasizing communication techniques, an attitude of humility and a willingness to abandon old habits (such as avoidance or aggression) in favor of assertive mutuality. The "game" metaphor that is used throughout grows a bit tiresome, but the advice is solid. The book is accessibly written and attractively designed, with pull-out quotes, bullet points and sidebars. Readers will find the workshop-style appendices to be helpful guides for setting "rules" to govern fair fights.