Great Moments in Biblical Flatulence

Ahhh the church fart...
Perhaps one of the most highly regarded laughs in annals of humor (No, not anals, ANNALS). A singular source of humor since the dawn of time. One can imagine our cave-dwelling ancestors breaking each other up or even that the creator of the universe himself was known to express himself with a wet one now and then. Church farts are funny because...
A: They are farts. Funny for all children and most grown men and grown men who act like children.
B. They are in church where such humor is not just regarded as unfunny but downright sinful.
Whether you send forth a silent, holy-ghost over the gathering or listen to the congregation's oldest member give a good old fashioned pew rumbler, the church fart is a wonder to witness.
Why then do so openly skip over the part when God, speaking through the prophet Isaiah, says: “My Bowels shall sound forth like a harp for Moab.” Why are we willing to believe, if not insist, that Jesus traveled with 12 guys for three years and not one time did a contest break out?
The Pharisees are still with us. Those judgmental finger pointing keepers of all that’s correct and holy are still here. They are the ones who say, “Stop laughing. This is church.” Are they joking? No...no probably not. More is the pity.
You hold in your hands a book of Biblical Fart Jokes. That’s it. Biblical Fart Jokes. And you know what? You are allowed to laugh.
Don’t let the finger pointers win. Laughter is the greatest gift God ever gave his children. Laugh out loud. Besides, if you hold a laugh in that air has to escape somewhere and THEN where will you be? Probably sitting in your own pew.