Growing Up in Public
Coming of Age in a Digital World
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- $16.99
Publisher Description
NATIONAL BESTSELLER
The definitive guide to helping tweens and teens set boundaries online when technology and social media prioritize being online 24/7 over privacy
“Essential reading . . . With empathy and insight, Devorah Heitner sheds light on how parents’ scrutiny and monitoring of teenagers can intensify the stress of growing up with social media.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Between social media, constant connection, and addictive tech and smartphones, the boundaries of privacy are stretched thin. We can track our kids’ every move with apps, see their grades within minutes of being posted, and fixate on their digital footprint, anxious that a misstep could cause them to be “canceled” or even jeopardize their admission to college.
All of this adds pressure on kids, particularly Gen Z, who are coming of age immersed in social media platforms that compete for their attention and emphasize “personal brand,” “likes,” and “gotcha” moments. How are kids supposed to figure out who they really are with zero privacy and constant judgment? Growing Up in Public shows us that by focusing on character, rather than the threat of getting caught or exposed, we can support our kids to be authentically themselves. The key is mentoring, not monitoring.
Drawing on her extensive work with parents and schools as well as hundreds of interviews with kids, parents, educators, clinicians, and scholars, Heitner offers strategies for parenting our kids in an always-connected world. With relatable stories and research-backed advice, Growing Up in Public empowers parents to cut through the overwhelm to connect with their kids, recognize how to support them, and help them figure out who they are when everyone is watching.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Heitner (Screenwise), a former media studies professor at Lake Forest College who now runs parenting workshops, offers astute advice on how parents can help their children navigate social media and other technology. She warns against using tech to surveil kids, suggesting apps that track teenagers' whereabouts limit their chances to learn to "make good decisions independently." Offering an evenhanded assessment of social media, she notes that while platforms can produce anxiety about not getting enough likes, they also provide opportunities for self-expression; for instance, she shares the story of a mother who learned of her son's dancing abilities from watching his TikToks. The levelheaded guidance is a refreshing antidote to more alarmist takes on the topic (Heitner suggests that sexting can be a "healthy form of teenage sexual exploration" and outlines talking points to discuss with teens about sexting ethically and safely, such as excluding one's face from intimate photos), though she's elsewhere short on specifics, as when she urges parents to help "kids grapple with their ‘public' audience in an intentional, empowered way" without clarifying how to do so. Still, parents will find this a useful roadmap for helping children cope with the perils of growing up online.
