How to Survive Zombies‪!‬

Greetings, my fellow zombie survivalists. This book is intended to guide you in your fight for survival. Why write such an important work? My experience and expertise with the undead is so valuable, and for the sake of man kind, it should not be lost. I have killed more than a thousand zombies since 1968. The fact that I am not a zombie is a testament to my vast knowledge and perfect survival skills. I can literally feel the presence of a undead walker from five miles away. A sixth sense? No... A seventh sense! It is because of my abnormally large pineal gland. This gland has special properties as explained in the Principia Discordia*. I digress... 

I don't recommend Principia Discordia for anything discussed here. Get back on topic. That is, the topic of how to survive zombies. You need to understand why it is so important to listen to my words. The mainstream media has played down the existence of zombies. I say that the danger is very real. For example, many studies have been done on the subject of zombies. A psychological phobia (Kinemortophobia ) has been identified, the fear of the living dead is a well documented fact. You can find scholarly works on the subject.

I wrote this book to save everyone... The people that I like.. You know who you are. If you bought this book... You are my friend. So, I want you to live long and prosper.