Kilroy was Here

Normal teenagers flip burgers to earn cash during high school. I am not a normal teenager.
My name is Tony Pershing and I broke up with my girlfriend just before prom because I was worried my job monitoring a mysterious portal to space for an enigmatic company named Corporate would put her in danger. In other words, I suck at making decisions. My best friend and Corporate co-worker is Jeff Harper, who is obsessed with the music of Styx and his 1976 Chevy Vega. He got sucked through the portal on prom night and now, armed with an arsenal of bizarre weapons and a mild case of PTSD, I’ve got to find out what happened to him.
I also have to deal with a sudden and random ability to spout off information I never knew and a neurotic alien real estate developer bent on turning Earth into a resort planet.
Remember this the next time you think you’re having a bad day.