A 2019 YALSA Best Fiction for Young Adults Selection
Amelia Bloomer List’s 2019 Top Ten Recommended Feminist Books for Young Readers
A Governor General’s Literary Award Finalist
A Junior Library Guild Selection
A Sheila A. Egoff Children’s Literature Prize Semifinalist
A BC Book Prize Finalist
“A love letter to girls—bittersweet and full of hope.” —Ibi Zoboi, author of National Book Award Finalist American Street
“This is a stellar debut.” —Brandy Colbert, award-winning author of Little & Lion and Pointe
“A vibrant, essential story of healing, resilience, and finding one’s family.” —Stephanie Kuehn, author of William C. Morris Award winning Charm & Strange
“A raw, beautiful, unforgettable must-read.” —Tiffany D. Jackson, author of Allegedly
“Poetic.” —Angela Johnson, award-winning author of Heaven
“A powerful, poignant story about refusing to let the past dictate who you are or who you will become.” —Kirkus Reviews
“This is a well-written, thought-provoking book that tackles difficult topics…a stirring debut.” —School Library Journal (starred review)
Sixteen-year-old Indy struggles to conceal her pregnancy while searching for a place to belong in this stunning debut novel that’s perfect for fans of Amber Smith and Sara Zarr.
Indira Ferguson has done her best to live by her Grammy’s rules—study hard in school, be respectful, and never let a boy take advantage of her. But it hasn’t always been easy, especially living in her mother’s shadow.
When Indy is sent to stay in Nassau, trouble follows her and she must hide an unwanted pregnancy from her aunt, who would rather throw Indy out onto the street than see the truth. Completely broke with only a hand-me-down pregnancy book as a resource, Indy desperately looks for a safe space to call home.
After stumbling upon a yoga retreat, she wonders if she’s found that place. But Indy is about to discover that home is much bigger than just four walls and a roof—it’s about the people she chooses to share it with.
Set on Nassau Island in the Bahamas, this suspenseful coming-of-age story follows an intrepid protagonist who, after being raped by her live-in cousin, strives to overcome hopelessness and fear in order to make crucial decisions about her pregnancy and future. Indy's nickname is Doubles, in reference both to her chest size and the assumption that she will inevitably become a drunken, promiscuous, irresponsible woman like her mother. Indy's achingly clear-sighted internal narrative is often witty: "My life can't even be held in place with duct tape. The tape that holds anything," she says when her bra breaks. And it offers a striking contrast to the minimalist, cautious speech she uses with others. Trapped between self-blame and a sense of futility ("I already know what people would say; in their eyes, if Gary messed with me, it's all my fault"), Indy stumbles on a yoga retreat center and discovers both allies and kindred souls who accept her and empower her to make choices about her body and find her voice. Mather skillfully balances emotionally wrenching scenes and surprisingly humorous ones; well-drawn supporting characters, including a fiery, self-educated grandmother and an endearingly gallant friend, Churchy, enrich this capable debut. Ages 14 up.