Mike Johnson's Obligation

I decided to give Mister Know my absolute what's-what words of wisdom straight out. It's nuts to being a nice guy, and to the blazes with the entire business. So I shouted at him, "You're a hopeless case! I taught you everything I know about how to become a fantastic pulp hero, and you still can't do anything right! You don't even do a decent chilling, sinister laugh that every pulp hero must have to create ultimate terror among the criminals he's about to shoot dead. You're not ready to become a save-the-world-type pulp hero, and what's more, you will never be. Look, why don't you forget about becoming one of those courageous, never-dying pulp heroes, which is what I was before I got real old, real careless, and killed, and remain  old Mister Know, that obnoxious individual nobody could possibly ever like?"