MR. DARK SIDE, número cinco

Santa Barbara's The Biltmore Resort and Hotel, built in 1927, is wedged between Montecito's Butterfly Beach to the west and the Southern Pacific Railroad to the east. The 1937 construction of the private membership Coral Casino Beach and Cabana Club between the Biltmore and the beach provided even more seclusion for Biltmore's Bungalows. Pushed up against the Southern Pacific Railroad's narrow right-of-way, the Bungalows provided maximum concealment for those needing to hideout, to keep their whereabouts secret.

But like most secret hideouts, there is always a price to pay. And not just the coin charged per night. The scheduled train traffic, fast enough, loud enough, to rattle Bungalow doors and windows, set the schedule for Bungalow guests' wakeful hours.

The blast of a locomotive horn assured that whatever Bungalow mischief had taken place before could, and frequently did, resume with each passing of train traffic.

While the early 20th Century nights of starlets flirting secretively along the secluded Biltmore pathways to and from the walled Bungalows were long gone, would-be starlets have maintained the practice.

Tigress, her stage name, of course, is one of those would-be's. See, she got confused one night, on one of the pathways, ventured through the wrong Bungalow gate, entered the wrong Bungalow, and thus provided the key clue as to Cheesy's whereabouts.

Yeah, Cheesy was also lesser known as Edger Bonhoeffer. Not that anyone outside the Low-Budget, B-Rated film industry knew of him. Those who did know him, never used his actual name. To the insiders, he was known as 'Cheesy', or when discussing one of his better film scripts, 'The Cheese'.

I wasn't the only Greater Hollywood hard boiled Private Dick on The Cheese hunt, but I was the first to get the tip from Tigress. OK. OK. Yes, I know Tigress, but it's not what you think. We have a professional relationship. Oh come on, even my wife knows about Tigress. Oh, for God's Sake, not everybody in Greater Hollywood is a sinner. OK. OK, yes, in Hollywood sinning is situational. But in Tigress' case, it's not like there's any surprises, right? OK?