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Publisher Description

Mr. Manners: Proper Etiquette for the Modern Degenerate is a politically incorrect, satirical manual to living right while doing all the wrong things. If you ever wanted to live on the edge but are afraid of the repercussions of societal judgment, just follow Mr. Manners’ advice and learn how to cross the line while still being viewed as a gentleman. You will be an upwardly mobile sinner in minutes! Embrace your manhood and learn how to pursue all of the higher arts via etiquette. Mr. Manners makes a martyr out of himself so that you may learn from his wisdom. Think that as a white man it’s wrong to use the N-word in public? Wrong! Mr. Manners shows you the etiquette for overcoming this common misconception. Got a girl pregnant and fear that you are going to lose your freedom? Let Mr. Manners show you how to finagle your way out of this inconvenient bind whilst still maintaining your gentleman-like demeanor. Want to have a threesome with a buddy and a lower-level hussy but don’t know how to deal with two bananas and one clam? Let Mr. Manners show you how to remain straight in a gay situation. Think you may have an STD? Don’t let traditional medicine dictate your decision making process. Mr. Manners will lead you to homeopathic well being. Ever thought of dating a prostitute but fear occupational hazards? It’s not as bad as you think and Mr. Manners shows you that it may be financially rewarding as well! Mr. Manners will teach you how to survive a night in jail, how to have rough sex without accidentally murdering your online date, how to drink and drive without getting caught and a plethora of other actions that could be macabre, but are merely by-products of being a gentleman. So curl up with this book and a drink and realize you’re not a piece of white trash like the media would have you believe… You are a gentleman!

Health, Mind & Body
April 15
Aaron Berg
Smashwords, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Groggied ,

Know these things

Aaron Berg's Mr. Manners is viciously direct and bleak, unusually honest and disconcerting, dark, hilarious and--in no small part--instructive and certainly very ethical. It really is this bizarro etiquette guide, which, as he explains, certainly does have its place. That is, given that you *are* a degenerate, given that life *is* fundamentally self and want and perversion, how ought one to best conduct oneself nonetheless? Berg takes you through how to do coke with the stars, navigate a threesome, spend a night in jail, date a stripper, etc.--all in the ways most mindful and respectful of those around you. You won't have learnt these lessons at home. You won't have learnt them anywhere.

Sad, depressing, hilarious, enlightening. Hopefully you change your ways.

Mendlow ,

Perhaps the funniest book ever written

Aaron Berg has long been one of Canada's top comedians, writers and performers… and his debut book is nothing short of cover to cover proof of why that's the case. From teaching those of us who have never paid for a prostitute just the right way to do it, to more obscure chapters like "Proper etiquette for dealing with a woman who thinks that she is way hotter than she is because she lives in a neighborhood densely populated with Dominican immigrants" - each chapter is packed with Berg's always ridiculous personal experiences, peppered with intelligence and a flippant use of language that will make you laugh (or run to your nearest feminist blogger and demand his head on a pike.) Love it or hate it, you can't deny that Berg is a force to be reckoned with in this medium, as he has been in everything he's ever done. If nothing else, it's unique, and if you can take a joke, or are yourself a degenerate, it's quite simply one of the funniest books you'll ever read.

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