Outdated
Why Dating Is Ruining Your Love Life
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- $15.99
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- $15.99
Publisher Description
Romance and love are in a state of crisis: Statistically speaking, young women today are living romantic lives of all kinds—but they’re still feeling bogged down by social, cultural, economic, and familial pressures to love in a certain way.
Young women in the modern world have greater flexibility than ever when it comes to who we choose to love and how we choose to love them; but while social circumstances may have changed since our parents’ generation, certain life expectations remain.
In Outdated, Samhita Mukhopadhyay addresses the difficulty of negotiating loving relationships within the borderlands of race, culture, class, and sexuality-and of holding true to our convictions and maintaining our independence while we do it. Outdated analyzes how different forms of media, cultural norms, family pressure, and even laws, are produced to scare women into believing that if they don’t devote themselves to finding a man, they’ll be doomed to a life of loneliness and shame.
Using interviews with young women that are living around, between, within, and outside of the romantic industrial complex, Mukhopadhyay weaves a narrative of the alternative ways that women today have elected to live their lives, and in doing so offers a fresh, feminist look at an old topic: How do diverse, independent young women date happily and successfully—and outside of the box?
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this accessible, thought-provoking book, journalist Mukhopadhyay (editor of the blog Feministing.com) examines the pitfalls of romantic relationships in a world dominated by sexism, gender essentialism, racism, and heteronormativity. She describes her project as "a feminist critique on how we understand dating and a road map to guide us through our feminist dating adventures." In doing so, she addresses the ways in which society pressures women to conform to antiquated stereotypes and stigmatizes anyone not actively trying to find a husband. She also calls out the sexist male writers of romantic self-help books aimed at women, including John Gray, Greg Behrendt, and Travis Stork, noting that "the self-help industry capitalizes on characterizing women as needy, wishy-washy, demanding too much, and being unstable." Ultimately, she asks: "how do we date as feminists in a world that is so structured around patriarchy, power, and privilege?" Mukhopadhyay provides many excellent suggestions, including a list of the ways that feminism makes a woman stronger, smarter, and happier in the dating world. Though the message may not be new, and for all practical purposes ignores the GLBT community, many young women will benefit from reading this book.
