Do you ever find yourself asking . . .
• How can you get your children to do their homework without meltdowns, threats or bribes?
• How can you have a drama-free morning where the kids actually get out the door in time for school?
• How can you better manage your kids’ screen time without making them want to hide what they’re doing from you?
Family therapist Susan Stiffelman is here to help. While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to come alongside your children to awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than at them with threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident “Captain of the ship” your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you’ll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
Drawing upon her successful practice and packed with real-life stories, Parenting Without Power Struggles is an extraordinary guidebook for transforming the day-to-day lives of busy parents—and the children they love.
Stiffelman, a Malibu, Calif., licensed psychotherapist and AOL's parenting expert, explains that kids do best when parents function much like the captain of a ship: "in charge" rather than "in control." Instead of battling with kids over homework, chores, and other issues, Stiffelman encourages parents to "come alongside" rather than "at" their children, thus avoiding the instinctive and natural tendency for kids to push back when they meet resistance. The author presents a simple model for understanding the family structure: when the parent is in charge, kids rest assured that the family ship will float smoothly, but in a scenario she calls "two lawyers," parent and child struggle against one another, with no one in charge. Last is "child in charge," in which parents find themselves issuing meaningless threats. Conversational and practical, the author addresses how to create an "unshakable connection" with children, how to help kids have healthy relationships, how to deal with frustration, anger, whining, meltdowns, and other issues, and how to help kids fulfill their creative potential. She explains the importance of connection, noting that children who feel securely attached to their parents are less likely to engage in risky behavior when they become teens, and are more likely to be cooperative. Stiffelman's engaging work gives parents tools to navigate confidently in both calm and stormy family seas.