Personal Prison

For some time now, in her mind persisted the idea that she would go mad among her colleagues with severe behavioural disorders. Yes, she will definitely become a lunatic, and the thought scared her awfully, it simply terrified her. At the present moment she wasn’t blaming anybody anymore for her failed life (at least she thought so) as she used to do when she was in her states of deep depression. She was accusing her unknown parents, who had abandoned her, and thus she got among institutionalized children, she was accusing the staff, who sometimes ordered her authoritatively what to do and what to say, she was even blaming herself because she was having negative thoughts. They were thoughts that were crossing her mind, then vanished in thin air. It has been very hard to control them, make them melt ever since then, in their first phase. Her thoughts would catch shape amazingly fast, and she would fill with troubling feelings of guilt.